Memories
by Milady29
Summary: Sequel to 'Remember Me'. Jay is recovering, he and Erin are slowly adjusting to life again while there is a baby on the way. Can he overcome all the struggles that come with the care for the newborn? How will Erin deal with the new family life? Will the baby bring them closer together or ultimately tear them apart?
1. Chapter 1

**Six months later**

* * *

Jay slowly pressed the print button on the computer screen and Sheldon Jin looked over his computer screen; ''I could get them for you.'' He offered as Jay had been getting the papers a few times today and he looked tired, but Jay shook his head and put his wheelchair back and got his feet of the footrests, pulling himself up, supporting himself on the desk as he slowly walked past his desk, knew he had to tide over the few feet to the printer unsupported and quick he made the stumbling, limp steps to the printer, but he made it. He walked to his desk and sat down in the wheelchair again.

''My legs can't think they are allowed to get lazy.'' Jay said as he looked through the papers and held the mug shot up; ''Look at this handsome fella.'' He said as a joke to Sheldon as he held the picture of the really ugly man up and Jin smirked. ''Lunch break, Jay.'' He said then as he got up and Jay nodded, laid the papers on his desk when the printer suddenly printed the files he had just gotten again and he got up again, tell it would be the last walk for a few hours, as his legs were starting to shake already and he didn't want to get pain in his legs again now the feeling had returned. He made the steps and back when suddenly halfway somebody raised his low hanging jeans.

''Walking tends to be easier if you don't have a jeans hanging between your knees.'' Erin said and Jay smiled, continued the last few steps to the wheelchair and sat down again, looking at Erin with a smile. He laid his hand on the baby bump, feeling the tiny kick of their little one and he kissed Erin as Jin was not in the office. She stood upright again and laid her hand under the large baby bump.

''One more week, luckily, can't take it much longer.''

''but 28 weeks...''

''Babe, one more week of work.'' She said with a wink and Jay nodded, felling stupid. They left the office he was working Jin and went to the cafeteria as none of them felt like going to the bistro they usually had lunch as it was pretty cold and it was a far walk for Erin now and Jay put the tray on his lap as they choose their foods and as she pushed the wheelchair he grabbed all the things they usually got and they had gotten pretty used to this, as it was a really handy for the both of them as Erin didn't have to carry her tray, which got harder and harder with the big baby bump and they paid and got the table they usually sat and Jay put the chair that was by the table aside, some of the newest rookies looking at him.

''What? This one is more comfortable.'' He stated dryly about his own chair and Erin looked at him with a smile as he put the tray down. Luckily he had accepted the wheelchair and even had started joking about it every now and then, to make the situation less heavy.

''You know, when you are done with being comfortable you should start with the baby room. You promised three months ago, Jay! I told you don't have to do it yourself but at least call somebody to do it.'' She said then as she got upset as the baby room was still an empty, stripped room in their new apartment and she knew she couldn't expect Jay to paint the walls he had promised he would take care of it. She knew he wouldn't be able to pain the walls, but he hadn't done anything about the room in three months...what if he was getting second thoughts again? When she had told him that she was pregnant, he was not happy at all and it had almost tore them apart as he didn't want to talk about it, but finally he had admitted he thought he was going to be a bad father. That he wouldn't be able to take care of the baby because of his brain damage and it had hurt Erin, not just because of his reaction but also because he thought this about himself. He was way stronger that that and he could take care of their baby, she was sure.

''I am...sorry. I just...I want to do it myself so I waited, hoping I can do it...but..'' Jay said as his face started to get red and suddenly ntonio joined the table.

''I hear the trouble, i might know a guy that is going to get the baby room all ready for you.''

Antonio gave him the number of his brother in law and Jay nodded, left for the bathroom then. Moving inside the stall he emptied to the bag around his leg as he still hadn't gotten enough feeling back for having control over his bladder, but it was getting better. Some other officers were talking and he felt embarrassed, waiting for them to go away before he left the stall. He tried not to feel embarrassed for the things he needed to take care of himself but it just happened. He left the stall and went to sink and watched in the mirror. Finally he felt he was returning to his own self, his smart ass comments, his relationship with Erin with them outsmarting each other.

Erin was waiting for him on the hallway and handed him a coffee, for the office and he nodded gratefully and put his between his legs so he had his hands free to wheel.

''Jay, look out, you could burn yourself!'' She said worried as she grabbed the cup and he looked up.

''It's okay.''

''NO it is not. It is burning hot coffee.'' She said worried and he understood that he didnt notice that the coffee was so hot as the feeling was not completely back in his legs at all. She walked to the office with him and put it down on his desk and she barely left when Laura appeared by the door.

''Jay? can I borrow you for a minute.''

Jay nodded and wheeled to the door, wheeled next to Laura as she moved. Laura kept walking slower and slower and Jay stopped. ''You know, you don't have to go slower, I go faster than you walk.''

Laura turned red and Kim joined them.

''We want to arrange a babyshower for Erin. But we need your help with that and we want to do a theme party. BUt for that, we have to know if it is going to be pink or blue.'' Kim smiled but Jay shook his head.

''I don't know the gender.'' Jay lied. ''I can tell you some dates she will be gone to baby gym in the morning and you can get the apartment all ready and surprise her.''

Laura and Kim smiled happy and Jay checked his phone and gave them some dates.

''Just, please tell me dates so I am sure I am going to be out that day so I wont be stuck in giggling and baby talk.'' Jay joked and he went back to the office he worked with Jin now. About a month after the accident furing th emarathon he had started there as he couldn't work in intelligence anymore, not just because he couldn't get up thte stairs there, but he also though it was better if he didn't work on completely the same department as Erin anymore, especially after the tension about the baby. Luckily that all was resolved now, although he was still scared and had his worries...what if he would mess up with taking care for the baby? He still had to ask Jin for help every now and then if he forgot things.

After work he and Erin went home to the new apartment. They only moved in three months ago, it was the one Erin had seen on the internet immediately and it was adjusted for a big part and the doorways were wide enough and Jay really liked it there with here, as it was finally the place for them together.

Later that evening Jay looked through the baby room and looked at the walls. Erin wanted the wall to be yellow and blue, with little duckies above the plint. They needed a crib that was had a rail that could slide down, so he could put her to bed too. They needed a changed table on a level that was high enough so he could sit by it with his wheelchair, but it would mean he could care for their baby too.

''What are you thinking about?'' Erin asked as she walked into the room and laid her arms around his neck and kissed him in his neck.

''I was thinking about everything that we have to put in here. It's going to be amazing.'' He said as he took her hands with his and led her around the chair and pulled her on his lap, kissing her. She smiled as his hands were going over the baby bump and she caressed his face.

''You know, the most special in this room, is going to be here in twelve weeks'' She said then and Jay nodded, felt as their little miracle kicked again.

* * *

NOTE: Jay and Erin are still together and probably better than ever. Jay is slowly improving and the baby was almost there! Will Erin get a baby shower? Will the baby room get ready and will they finally get ready to be parents and will Jay overcome his fears?

Thank you so much I hope you liked this first, long chapter and please tell me if you did by leaving a review! Please do and tell me what you want to see and what you thought about this. Did it catch up too fast? Skipped too much time?


	2. Chapter 2

**One week later.**

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Jay looked as Matt parked his pick-up in front of the building their apartment was in. He had been here yesterday to put the wooden floor in baby room and he had put the wallpaper up. Jay opened the door to the apartment, finishing his breakfast in the kitchen. Erin had already gone to the station as she had some last paperwork to finish in the office as she wouldn't return to work on Monday. She wanted to keep working but both Voight and Jay had told her that she couldn't do it anymore, as it just took so much energy. She would still come to work in the intellenge unit some afternoons, when they needed somebody for the paperwork and she wasn't too tired.

''Hey Jay.'' Matthew Casey said as he walked in, carrying his toolbox.

''Hey Matthew, thanks for coming.'' Jay said, glad Antonio's brother in law could make some time to help them with the baby room, while he was also busy with his job at the firehouse and yesterday he had told him that he recently become a father from a young son, Andy and that he loved to help with their baby room.

''Let's get started...actually...I already made something for you last night and I guess I should get that first.'' Matt said and he left the apartment and Jay waited until he returned. Matt entered again. He was carrying big wooden rails under his arm and walked to the nursery and Jay followed him

''I made you a crib yesterday. I know you were still looking for one, but I figured it would be much cheaper since the budget is pretty tight.''

Jay nodded as Matt started to put the rails around the room and started to put them together.

''Can I help you?'' Jay asked as he felt a little helpless but Matt shook his head as he carried on putting the crib together.

At the station, Erin was finishing the paperwork, trying to find a comfortable position with the baby bump by the desk. The baby started to kick again and she wondered how Matt and Jay were doing on the nursery. She was glad he finally got somebody to help him and Matt was a great help. They couldn't have gotten better help than Matt.

But she couldn't help but worry is Jay was really happy now. She really loved him and she knew he really loved her and the baby but she still doubted if he was ready to be a father, sometimes he still seemed so scared. He had admitted to her that he was afraid that he would mess up with taking care for the baby when his memory abandoned him.

She carried on working, hoping that she could still have a good talk about it before the baby would come. She knew they would be okay but he just kept worried, which worried her. Finally she had the first stash done, looking at the other stash.

''Stop kicking sweety.'' She said as she rubbed over the belly and the baby finally seemed to calm down a bit and stopped kicking. She carried on working and hoped she would be home soon.

Jay was upset in their home as Matt seemed to get cranky as he was in the way every time. He just wanted to help but he seemed to be in the way every time. It was almost lunch time and Jay left the room, upset that he couldn't help and he was just a burden.

Jay went to the kitchen, upset and opened the fridge and the one of the cupboards and got the bag of sandwiches out. He started to prepare the sandwiches with tomato and chicken and he hoped that he would at least do this right. he felt so stupid that he was in Matt's way all the time. Matt walked into the kitchen and took the sandwich that Jay handed him, eating hte sandwich. Jay joined him bay the kitchen table and looked up.

''Can I help you later? I mean with something that you need my help with? Only if you know something I can help with and won't be in the way.''

''Sure, I got some things for you to do. Youw ere not in my way, Jay. I am sorry I lashed out at you.''

''Nah, it is okay. I was in your way.'' Jay said and he finished his sandwich.

''Am I allowed to know who is going to fill the room? A girl or a boy?'' Matt asked then and Jay smiled.

''I am not allowed to tell anyone from Erin.''

''It's going to be a great room for sure, wetter the baby is going to be a boy or a girl.'' Matt said and Jay nodded.

''She is going to like it.'' Jay smiled as he ate his bread and looked up then, shocked as he had let the gender slip now after all.

''Hopefully.'' Jay said as he and Mat took another sandwich and Matt nodded. ''I was scared when Gabriela told me that we were going to have a baby. I was so scared. But once you hold that tiny baby in your arms, it is all going to be okay. You look scared. But there is nothing to be scared of.'' Matt said and Jay nodded.

''But I am scared.'' Jay sighed and Matt nodded.

''It's not easy to get used to the idea you will become a father. But it will all be okay, really.'' Matt assured him and Jay nodded gratefully.

''Can't help but worry.'' Jay said then. ''But now I am worried if Erin will like the room.

''I am sure, Erin will love it.'' Matt said as he finished his sandwich and nodded gratefully at Jay for the lunch. Jay tried not to sigh as they went back to the room. He was glad Jay did not suspect that Matt did not have notices that Jay had said the gender after all.

After an afternoon of work Matt left and Jay looked through the room. It was great. Next to the door was a closet with drawers, in which he had already put all the clothes that Erin had bought for the baby and he had already made the bed, the sheet also filled with tiny little duckies, as Erin wanted. She thought it was cute and he had agreed. There were small duckies on the wallpaper and the sheets and he liked it, it was blue and yellow, something else than the usual pink.

The crib was perfect, wood and there was a small lever on top that would let the front rail slip down so he could put their child to bed as well.

Then he thought about the other thing that the had bought for the little baby to come in the crib as well.

Jay wheeled to the closet in his and Erin's room and he oped the door, grabbed the bag and took the plushie out he had seen in the shop and bought and he looked at the fluffy, stuffed duck and he put it on his lap, wheeled abck tot he baby room and heard Erin entering. In the room he let the rail slip down so he could easily reach the crib and he put the duck in.

Erin walked towards the baby room and looked as Jay put the plushie in the crib and she looked around. Tears started to stream from her eyes and Jay looked up as she was crying.

''it is so pretty, it is so perfect.'' She cried and he laid his hands around the baby bump, smiling as she was so happy. She looked around, at the perfect little duckies on the wallpaper, the crib ready for the baby that was going to be in there in a few weeks. She looked at the wooden changing table that was set up like a desk so he could also change the baby very easily and it was also high enough for her.

''It is so perfect. I can't wait.'' She said and Jay nodded.

''Me neither.'' He said then with an honest smile.

* * *

NOTE: The room for the little baby is ready! Jay even slipped the gender this chapter! Will Erin still have the talk about their future? Can Jay still overcome his worried before the baby is born?

What is still to come? The baby of course! Some tension between Jay and Erin! Jay's parents that we met in the previous story and some more understanding about Voight and Erin and their relationship together after the baby is born as Voight was kind of her father.

I hope you liked this chapter and thank you for reading and following this sequel. I hope it won't disappoint you after remember me. Please leave a review with what you thought and what you hope to see in the future. Thank you and please do!


	3. Chapter 3

**One week later**

* * *

Jay slowly walked between the bars, his legs giving in at the end and he almost collapsed, his therapist holding him in time and slowly helping him sit down.

''Have you been walking since the last time?'' The therapist asked as he helped Jay sit down in the wheelchair again and Jay nodded.

''I have been trying to walk as much as possible in the office. To the printer is about three steps, unaided. I can make it.'' He said and the therapist nodded.

''That's great Jay. You also did very well today. How are Erin and the baby doing?''

''Great, she is having her baby shower today.'' Jay smiled and the therapist nodded.

''How many weeks is she now?'' The therapist asked as he helped Jay lay down on the floor to stretch his legs and Jay smiled proud. ''Thirty weeks. It's not long anymore. When you see her, you'd think we are going to be parents in a week, with twins.'' Jay said as Erin's baby bump was already pretty back, but it probably just seemed to him like that because she had always been petite and she wasn't very tall.

''You must be so excited.'' The therapist said and Jay nodded. ''But I am also worried. What if I will mess up with the baby? I also am worried I can't walk when the kid gets older and I can't do the things with her other dads do with their kids.''

''Ah, it is going to be a girl?'' The therapist asked and Jay nodded, feeling stupid he let it slip again but he knew it didn't matter, as long as he didn't to Antonio or somebody else at the station or his family.

''Your daughter won't care if you can walk or not. I trust that you will be able to, but it won't matter to her, Jay.''

In their apartment, Erin opened the front door as she returned from grocery shopping and surprised she looked at the pink and blue balloons hanging around the living room and at the circle of girls awaiting her. She started to smile as she saw the cakes on the kitchen table and the gifts they were all holding and Laura walked towards her; ''Surprise! You did not think we were going to let you become a mother without a baby shower, right?'' She said as she hugged Erin and Erin just kept smiling, moved that they arranged this for her.

''Can I see the nursery?'' Eva, Antonio and Laura's daughter asked as she was sitting on the couch and Laura looked at her and back at Erin.

''She helped with the cake and then she insisted on taking her with me. I didn't have much of a choice.''

''It's great having you here, Eva.'' Erin said, though as she thought it was nice for the young girl to be there too. Kim was there, too and the two detectives from homicide she was pretty close with. There was Voight's niece, whom she was pretty close with and it was even more of a surprise that Nadia was there. It was a small group but she thought it was very nice. There was a large stash of presents on the table and Laura saw her looking.

''That the man weren't invited doesn't mean they didn't leave any gifts.''

''Oh my.'' Erin said as she looked at the enormous stash and Laura nodded.

''You got more than a few things to unpack.''

In the hospital, Jay looked surprised because of what his therapist just told him.

''You daughter will never think that you are any different from the others daddy's, because you are her daddy. But you will walk again, I promise.'' The therapist said as he helped Jay stretch his legs and Jay nodded.

''But what if I mess up with taking care of her, because of the brain damage?''

''You won't. But Jay, stop worrying. Nobody is a perfect parent, all we can do is do our best.'' The therapist said and Jay nodded, understanding. The session was over and he got back in his wheelchair.

''How are your driving classes coming along?''

''I keep failing theory.'' Jay admitted as he had been studying a lot to get a permit for a adjusted car so he could drive himself around again but he kept forgetting it when he got the test. He could drive the car hand controlled, but as long as he kept failing theory he knew he wouldn't get the permit.

Now Antonio was here to pick him up and bring him home and Antonio waited for him in the hallway.

''How did it go?''

''Walking? Shitty.'' Jay said as he had been talking to the end of the bars last week and now he could barely make it halfway. But he did feel a lot better about what the therapist had said about his worries.

They went to Antonio's car and Jay lifted himself up, holding himself by the roof of the car and he sat down on the chair, pulling his legs in and Antonio drove them home.

''You know, the baby shower is going on right now? I know that we should go out for lunch and avoid all the baby talk, but everybody is there for you and Erin and the other men are going to be there, later too. I think he should go home because of that.''

Jay nodded and Anotnio drove to their apartment. They went inside and met Ruzek by the door.

''Here already?'' Antonio asked and Ruzek nodded; ''Kim said it was time to party crash.''

Jay smirked, that the man were going to party crash but he knew it would be fun with all of them. Jay opened the door and they joined the women sitting in the living room. Ruzek sat down next to Burgess and laid his arm around her. ''Babe, we bet for twenty dollars that they are having a boy.''

''But I think it is going to be a girl.'' Ruzek said and he laid twenty dollars in the bowl with dollars that said girls and Kim laughed. Jay transferred himself from his chair to the couch and sat down next to Erin.

''I guess we don't have much choice than telling the gender now.'' He said as Antonio handed him a glass of drink and gave some cake to everybody.

''It is going to be a girl.'' Erin said then and Laura and Antonio and Ruzek looked triumphantly. Nadia smiled. ''We were right.''

They all got another round of drinks and Erin and Jay started to unpack the presents. Jay unpacked the box in his hands and looked at the tiny little shoes, Erin taking them from him. They looked like tiny, red converse sneakers and both of the soon-to-be parents smiled.

''These are so cute.''

''Yeah.'' Jay said as he took them again and looked at them.

''Knew you would like them.'' Antonio said and Lauren hit him against his knee.

''Obviously after I bought them.'' Laura said and everybody laughed.

They unpacked the present from Burgess and Ruzek, a belly band that said ''Jay did it'' and the couple burst out in laughing and Erin almost cried from laughter.

''This is so good.'' Antonio laughed and Ruzek nodded. ''I know. I was pretty proud for thinking about it but Kim thought it was lame.''

''So we got you another present too.'' Kim said as she handed it to him and her and Jay and Erin smiled as it was a tiny CPD shirt. It would fit their baby perfectly.

''Thank you.''

Nadia stood up and handed them a tiny present.

''It's not much...but it is -''

''It is okay Nadia, thank you so much'' Erin said as she knew Nadia could not afford a lot as a recovering addict.

They unpacked it and looked at the pacifier with little hearts.

They unwrapped all of the presents and enjoyed the night with their friends. As they all were leaving Jay was about to get ready for bed, exhausted by the therapy and the good party when there was another knock on the door. Erin opened the door, Voight walking in with a large wrapped present.

''See I am a little late for the baby shower.'' He said and Erin shrugged.

''You kind of are...but we can still offer you a beer and left offer cake.''

''Can't say no to cake.'' Voight said as he threw his jacket on the kitchen chair and walked to the living room, that was open from the kitchen and sat down on the sofa. Jay put his chair beside the couch and looked at Voight. They hadn't talked to each other since Erin had told Hank that she was pregnant and the least thing that they had expected was him coming by now.

''Who had guessed that you would be at a baby shower from me and Erin someday.''

He didn't want to tease Voight but he couldn't let it pass.

''Not me...but you are going to be good parents.'' Voight said. He was fine with their dating now. They really loved each other, they had proved that after all they had been through and Jay really treated her right.

''Here, a beer and cake.'' Erin said as she handed it to Voight and sat down in front of him. Jay and Erin knew it was special he was finally here as before he never acknowledged their relationship.

''Are you going to unwrap my present or what?'' Voight finally asked, looking up as he ate the cake and Erin and Jay nodded, started to rip the paper of, both one side and looked at the stroller, yellow and blue.

''It had wheels that can either be added or clocked off and then you can click the frame to a wheelchair. I thought it would be perfect, so you can both walk the baby.''

''Thank you so much, Voight.'' They both said as it was indeed perfect for them.

''I can't wait for the little one to be here. You are going to do great.'' Voight said then and Erin laid her hands on Jay's, so glad the man that felt like her father finally seemed to be okay with them becoming parents, as he never talked about it before.

''Thank you so much.'' Erin said as she could not imagine anything that meant more to her right now.

* * *

NOTE: The little girl already got her first welcome in the CPD family and Voight finally approved their relationship officially!

I hope you liked long this chapter, it showed some of his recovery and of course the baby shower. Please tell me what you thought by leaving a review and thank you so much for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Two weeks later**

* * *

Jay was rushed as he shut his PC down and nodded at Jin as it was time to go. He enjoyed working but he knew it was time to go now. He had promised Erin he would be outside in time and it was time to go now. They were going to a 3D ultrasound that had to make sure their little girl was in a good position as she was a pretty big baby and she was so petite. He could hardly understand, how she, with her length of barely five feet four, could carry that baby that about the side of a cabbage. It was amazing and he knew she was getting tired more and more easily.

He wished he had gotten his driver's license now as it was getting harder and harder for her to drive. He went outside, greeting Platt and rolled down the ramp by the entrance they had put there for him and went to the car, that was parked by the sidewalk and he stood up, slumped on the passenger seat and folded the wheelchair, lifted it over himself and threw it on the backseat before she could get up to help him.

''Hey little girl, how are you today.'' He asked he laid his hand on the baby bump and she smiled at him, glad he could make it in time. Although it was just an ultrasound to see if the baby was in the right position so she didn't need a c-section. She was so scared and he felt so bad because she was so worried. He knew what it was like to be worried, now he was so worried about taking care of the little girl.

''I am so scared Jay. What if I need a c-section?''

''Maybe that is better, I can't imagine that you are carrying a baby that is about the size of cabbage.''

Erin looked aside at him, her eyes and he realized that what he had said only worried her more. He wanted to say something but she shook her head and he was quiet, looked out of the window, afraid to upset her even more. Sometimes he said things that he knew were wrong and he tried not to say it. How could he always be so wrong? He said think without thinking. he knew for one it was a part of the brain damage but he knew he could not blame it all on that.

''Í am sorry.'' He said then and Erin nodded.

''It's okay, but I got a little girl in me, not a cabbage.'' She smiled and Jay nodded.

''I know, a beautiful tiny little girl.''

She parked the car and they went inside the hospital. The doctor that had kept up with Erin greeted them and took them for the ultrasound. He had thought it had been a better idea that they would check her again as they wanted to make sure their little girl was in the right position before the childbirth, as she was thirty-three weeks, they were afraid that the baby might be coming to soon and they had to know what they were dealing with. Erin walked with her hand in her back, more effort with every step and Jay took her hand.

''Take it easy, remember? That's what you always tell me.'' He said and she nodded. Slowly started walking again. Now he wished even more he could drive back home. They went inside the room and Erin laid down on the table. The doctor and a nurse sat down next to her and she lifted her shirt, put the gel on her belly and put started the ultrasound. Jay moved to the bed and knocked with his knees again the examining table. But he ignored it and took her hand as the face of their little girl appeared on the screen and they looked at the little baby, the eyes closet, hands next to her face and the small mouth in what seemed to be a smile.

''She has her dad's smile already.'' Erin smiled as she looked at the little girl. She couldn't believe that this little human was growing in her and she looked at Jay, tears burning in his eyes and when they suddenly started to flow he wiped them away with the back of his hand.

About thirty minutes later they left the hospital, a envelope with the pictures from the ultrasound on Jay's lap and they got back in the car.

''Can you drop me off at the station? I still got some work to finish.'' Jay said then and Erin nodded and pointed at the envelope.

''We can show the pictures.'' Erin said and jay nodded, excited. But he also realized he wouldn't be able to get up the stairs...no he had to try, he couldn't get pushed back to easily. Slowly they went inside and Erin called Antonio and she walked up the stairs with the photo's. Jay grabbed Antonio's upper arm and with a lot of effort he put every foot in front of the other. Upstairs he leaned against the rail as Antonio got his chair but he was glad that he had made it and Antonio hit him against his shoulder.

In the office, Kim - who was replacing Erin -, Ruzek, Antonio and Olinsky leaned over the pictures.

''She is beautiful.''

''You are going to have to be careful Jay, every guy in Chicago wants to date this guy later.'' Ruzek said and Jay smiled as he also saw the pictures again and the smile, the cute smile.

Voight looked from his office at the whole team standing around the table and looking at the pictures Erin and Jay had brought and he left the office, walking to the table and looking at the pictures of the ultrasound.

''That can't be something Halstead produced, this cutie pie.'' He sighed and he lifted up one of the pictures and looked at the little girl, almost ready to see the world.

''It is mine.'' Jay said and Erin pointed at the dimples next to the tiny smile and Voight looked at them.

''Erin has bigger dimples than you.'' Voight said then and Jay pointed at the smile again.

''She has my smile!'' Jay argued then and Voight nodded. Jay smiled triumphantly.

''Hopefuly for her that will wear off.'' He said then, laying his hand on Jay's shoulder and walked back to his office, the others laughing.

After dinner at home Jay mailed the scans of the ultrasound to his parents, hoping they would like it and he had written them that he had hoped they would both come by when the baby was born, which was going to be hard as they didn't want to see each other, he even had to send them separate mails. Hopefully he and Erin would never end up like this, not for the sake of their little girl. But he would never leave his girls. He never would, he loved them so much. He had forgiven his dad when he didn't remember and now he couldn't blame him again now his memory was back, but sometimes he did for leaving them.

Erin was in bed already and Jay wheeled to the bathroom next to their bedroom. It was the only bathroom in his house that was adjusted as it would have gotten too expensive and they wanted to keep it all in budget. Besides, it would not be forever. At least, they were still hoping the best about that. But he knew it was getting better, although everything went very slowly, he could make more steps over time. He brushes his teeth and made sure the catheter was okay and emptied the bag that was still around his leg. He got his pajama pants over it all and suddenly he heard Erin approaching him.

''Are you okay.''

''All fine.'' He said with a smile as he took the last medication and wheeled back to their bed, around Erin and he put the chair next to the bed, lifted himself up and looked as Erin laid down next to him, the belly sticking out in the nightgown and he laid his arm around her.

''She is beautiful.'' Jay sighed then as he thought about the ultrasound. It had been so wonderful, seeing their daughter, listening to the heartbeat.

''I love you.'' She said then as she laid her arm around him and kissed him against his temple.

''I love both of my girls so much.'' He said as he kissed her on her forehead and they fell asleep in each others arms.

* * *

NOTE: They have seen their little girl now! That little girl is almost ready to present itself and it won't be long before she will!

Thank you so much for reading and I hoped that you liked it. Please leave a review with what you think about it and keep me writing! Thank you!


	5. Chapter 5

**Seven weeks later**

* * *

''Jay!'' Erin said worried as she woke up and he woke up next to her, worried and she pointed at the phone.

''The contractions started.'' She said and Jay grabbed his phone, called for an ambulance as he couldn't drive her himself and got himself dressed, helped Erin getting dressed and took her bag she had prepared and put it on his lap.

''I am scared.'' She said worried as she got up, the pain of the contractions almost unbearable and she knew it wouldn't be long before the baby would be there. She could feel it and Jay took her hand. Luckily the medics were already there and they went inside the ambulance. They rushed to the hospital as it wouldn't take long as Erin's dilation was already pretty advanced and the contractions were getting worse. They rushed her to a room and Jay had a hard time keeping up with them as they took her to a room. When they got ready for the delivery he grabbed her hand and she looked at him, terrified. She started to cry and he wiped the tears from her face.

''Don't be scared, it is all going to be okay.'' He said as he saw how scared she was and he kissed her on her forehead, quickly.

''You can start pushing. push Erin, push!'' The doctor said and Jay held her hand firmly. She pinched his hand and groaned and laid back, looked at Jay.

''Push again, it is going really fast.'' The doctor said and Erin pushed again, Jay looked at her, worried as all color seemed to disappear from her face and she fell back. She panted and Jay felt horrible as she was in pain.

''One more time.'' The doctor said and Erin pushed.

The doctors took the baby girl and a loud cry sounded through the room, only shortly and they laid the girl on Erin's chest. They handed the scissors to Jay and he looked confused for a bit. Then he realized what he had to go as they held up the umbilical cord and he cut it, the girl still crying and Erin started to cry, overwhelmed by everything and she looked at the baby girl, looking at her from her chest and was quiet then, looking around with her big blue eyes and it seemed like she was okay with the world she was in now. She looked at her daddy and closed her eyes.

''Congratulations mommy and daddy. Can we take her for a bit?'' The nurse said and she lifted the baby girl up. Jay and Erin know that they would take her away for a bit to clean her up and made sure that she was healthy and Jay looked at Erin, crying and he took her hand.

''We are parents now.'' He cried in disbelief and she nodded. it was so weird.

Later, as Erin was brought to a room and was asleep and Jay was sitting next to her, holding her hand and tried to realize that that beautiful girl was their daughter. She was his little girl and he would always protect her.

''Daddy, do you want to hold your baby girl?'' A nurse entered, rolling on the of the baby beds in and he looked at the baby, dressed in pink and with a cute knotted bonnet and the nurse lifted the girl up and handed her to Jay. Jay looked at the baby in his hands. The girl opened her eyes and looked at her daddy with her bright blue eyes and she laid her tiny hand against his shirt. With a smile he looked at the smile, that had already been seen on the ultrasound and the dark blonde hairs, a little bit seen under the bonnet and Jay caressed her cheek, with one finger. The girls lips curled for a bit, almost sassy and Jay laughed as she closed her eyes again and a little later she was asleep in her daddy's arm. Love at first sight from a father that saw his daughter for the first time was true. He was also so proud of Erin after the delivery. She had been so strong even though she was so scared. He kissed her on her forehead, holding the baby girl and Erin held her arms out to take the girl. Jay turned the wheelchair with one hand, holding the baby in the other and Erin looked worried but realized he could to it.

''She is beautiful.'' Erin said as she was looking at Jay holding the baby. Jay handed her to Erin and Erin held the girl as well.

Jay closed his eyes for a second and he tried to imagine what their life would be like as parents. They had prepared for it but now he had been holding the girl he could hardly realize that they were parents now and he knew it was partly to blame that it was all too overwhelming for his brains as it was sometimes and he looked at Erin holding the baby, knew it was just going to take a little before he could all realize it. They were a little family now, their own wonderful family, something he hadn't even dared to dream about one and a half year ago, when he had no memory and just after he had been shot. He had never imagined something like this would happen and now he was a daddy.

They looked up as there was a knock on the door and Jay wheeled to the door, opened it and he looked up, shocked as two arms hugged him and he looked up, Laura and Antonio waiting in the doorway.

''Laura!'' Antonio said angry as he had told his wife they should ask if they could see the little girl for a second, as it was only a few hours since the delivery and Erin was probably exhausted and he was pretty sure Jay was overwhelmed as well.

Jay looked at Erin and Erin nodded, allowing them to come in and Antonio and Laura walked in, Antonio carrying a huge duck plushy and Laura walking towards the bed and greeted Erin and looked at the little girl in her arms. The baby opened her eyes and looked around again.

''She is so beautiful.'' Laura sighed and she looked at the girl, carefully caressing her cheek and the girl moved her arms, her eyes still closed and Erin smiled proud, about her beautiful daughter.

''This is for that little cutie.'' Antonio said as he put the huge plushy down on the chair at the end of the room and he also walked to the bed, looking at the girl again and Laura took the girl now, handed her to Antonio a little later. At first he felt really protective about his daughter but he was okay with Laura and Antonio holding her and Antonio looked at him now.

''So, what is her name?''

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NOTE: Yeah, what is the name of the little girl. Bets can be made now! Jay and Erin are parents of a beautiful baby girl and it is all a lot of process, but they are going to be great parents for sure! But are Jay's parents going to give any trouble with the baby and will Voight agree on being the girl's grandpa?

Thank you so much for reading and please leave a review with what you thought. I don't know much about deliveries so I left a lot of details out but I hope it was still good. Please do tell me what you thought and what you think the name of their little girl is going to be. Although the first name is already decided, she still needs a middle name and that will be the best (but still wrong) bet ;)


	6. Chapter 6

''Natalie, her name is Natalie. Natalie Julie Halstead.'' Jay said and Antonio looked at the little girl. ''Fits her just right.'' He said and Jay took Natalie from him again.

''We want to ask you...we want you to be Natalie's godparents.'' Erin said then and Laura started to laugh.

''Sure thing, sure thing.'' Antonio said and Laura nodded. ''Absolutely.''

The Dawson's left short after, leaving the new parents alone with their daughter and Jay couldn't keep his eye of her. She was healthy and so wonderful. Jay's mom called him and he took the phone, Erin feeding Natalie and he was talking to his mother.

''Yes mom, yes she is all fine. Erin is too. We are going home tomorrow and yes, we got everything ready. Stop mom, I can do it.'' Jay said angry and he hung up the phone. Erin looked at him as she burped Natalie, worried. Jay seemed pretty upset as he tucked his phone back in his jeans and stood up from the wheelchair, sitting down next to Erin on the bed and smiling again.

''What did your mom ask?'' She asked worried and Jay shrugged.

''She said she was worried I would mess up being a dad. That I couldn't do it.''

''Your mom is quite the encourager.'' Erin said worried.

Jay shrugged and he didn't mind it anymore as his attention was taking by Natalie again. Erin yawned and he took Natalie in his arms, got ready to walk to the crib, just three steps away but Erin grabbed his upper arm.

''Jay.'' She said, she didn't want to say it so worried as she believed he could do it but he didn't want her to get out of bed as she was tired and worn out and he got up, laid Natalie in the crib, pulled the blanket over her and managed to walk back to his wheelchair.

''I can do it.''

''I know, I am sorry.''

''It's okay.'' He said as he kissed her on her forehead and got ready to leave for home as it was late and Natalie was taken by a nurse to the nursery. As she was asleep he went to the platform where the buses were leaving and got out by the stop that was closest to their apartment and he got out again, went home. This morning very early they had left home in a hurry. Tomorrow his girls would come home and he was excited but also a little scared. Today the nurses had dressed Natalie and changed her. He got worried when he thought about the fact he would have to changed the diapers from tomorrow on. She was so tiny, so small, so fragile and he was really worried he would do something wrong, especially after what his mom had said. He checked the nursery, made sure everything was ready and then he went to bed himself. He struggled with changing the sheets as Erin's water had broken in bed this morning, but finally he managed, even it took him a long time. Laying down in bed he fell asleep, also exhausted from the long and emotion full day. It was still all too much to take in right now but he knew he was a father now. That their lives would change a lot.

Waking up the next morning his hand traced the sheets and he searched for Erin. Then he realized her side of the bed was empty because she was in the hospital and he got showered and dressed, left the bus and felt guilty because he couldn't drive. Oh, how much he damned himself now that he hadn't done the theory so that he could have driven Erin and Natalie home now, instead of them having to go back with the bus. He was glad when he was back in the hospital and he wheeled to her room. Erin was feeding Natalie and Jay was so glad to see his girls again and he took Natalie from Erin, held her in his arms and kissed her on her forehead.

''Hey little one, good morning.'' He smiled as he Natalie looked at him with her big blue eyes. Erin was packing her stuff and got out of bed, slowly. Jay wanted to help but she said she was fine, just a little tired from the delivery and they were surprised as the door opened.

''I asked Voight to drive us home.'' Erin explained and Jay nodded, guessed it was okay she called him. He helped picked up all of the gifts they had gotten already and put them in an extra bag. Jay still smiled at the giant duck Antonio and Laura had brought and he was sure they had seen the nursery and thought it would fit.

There was a knock on the door and Voight entered.

''Hey, congratulations on becoming parents.'' He said to the couple and he walked to Erin, sat down next to her on the bed and looked at the tiny girl in her arms and she looked at him.

''Do you want to hold her?''

Voight nodded and took Natalie in his arms, thinking about the first time when he held Justin. Erin smiled as she saw Voight holding him and it felt special, because he felt like her dad.

''Your daddy has to look after you, you are going to be the prettiest girl of Chicago.'' Voight said and he tickled the girls cheek.

''I want to ask you...will you be Natalie's grandpa?''

Voight looked at Erin, almost shocked and he laughed then.

''Am I not a little too young to be a grandpa?''

''Of course now.'' Erin smirked back and Voight nodded. ''I would be honored.''

They got all the stuff ready and Voight took Natalie as Jay took the bags. he wanted to take Natalie but as he had to keep his hands free to wheel his chair, there was no choice but to leave Natalie and the stroller to Voight and he could take the bags. At home he would have a baby sling, where he could put her in when he needed to move, but now there was no other choice and he tried not to feel bad.

Voight brought them to his car and Erin walked a little slow, still sore and tired from the delivery and she sat down in the car. Jay laid his arm around her and kissed her on her cheek. She had supported and spoiled him when he was recovering and now it was time to return that favor. he was going to order her favorite food tonight and serve everything for her. Clean the house.

They arrived home and Voight let them alone after a bit so they could adjust to everything. Jay and Erin brought Natalie to her crib for the first time and the girl fell asleep in her crib, making the sure the wearable blanket was keeping her warm and the girl kept asleep, the girl still having the cute smile on her face.

''She really has your smile.'' Erin said and Jay smiled. Erin sat down on his lap and laid her head against his shoulder.

''I am so tired.'' She said and he kissed her, started to wheel to the bedroom and she got off again, laying down on their bed and watched some TV while Jay ordered the food and cleaned away the cleaning and such. The food was brought and he brought it to the bedroom. She woke up as he entered and took the plate.

''So great.'' She smiled as she ate it and Jay nodded. Jay got Natalie and Erin nursed her. She brought her back to bed and Jay got ready for bed as well. Erin laid down in his arms and the y watched a movie and he closed his eyes, exhausted.

''Goodnight.''

''Goodnight.''

Before his eyes were even closed completely Natalie started to cry one room away.

* * *

NOTE: Yes, they are parents now! Jay, get adjusted to not getting much sleep as you had before! ;) How will their first months are parents go? I hope you liked this chapter, Erin and jay asking some people to be a part of the family! Thank you so much for reading and please tell me what you thought about this chapter...and what did you think of the finale? Please tell me and what do you want to see in this story? Feel free to tell me!


	7. Chapter 7

Jay got Natalie out of the crib again, putting the crying baby down in the sling across his chest and he laid the baby down in the sling so he could move again and these for the moments he wished he could walk even more. He moved to the bedroom, Erin already sitting up in the pillows and he handed Natalie to her and she started to feed Natalie.

''Do I need to get out of bed to get things done?'' She asked but Jay shook his head. He insisted again on doing everything on his own today. He would care for Natalie and do the work in the house. A little later, Erin fell asleep again and Jay wanted to change Natalie and get her back to bed when she started to cry and Jay looked hopeless at the crying baby.

''Daddy is here, it is okay.'' Jay said as he took her on one arm, hugging her and took his phone out. Pushing the phone between his shoulder and ear he called Antonio and waited for him to take off the phone as he tried to comfort and silent Natalie, but she kept crying and he didn't know what to do.

''Jay, something wrong?'' Antonio asked worried as Jay called so early in the morning.

''Natalie is crying and I can't get her quiet. She keeps crying and I don't know what to do.'' Jay said softly as he didn't want Erin to hear.

''Did Erin feed her yet.''

''Yeah.''

''Did you burp her?'' Antonio asked and Jay hung up the phone, laying Natalie against his shoulder and after a minute, the baby burped and she stopped crying.

''That was what was bothering you, huh?'' Jay said as the baby smiled again now and he brought her back to her crib. Natalie was asleep again, with a small on her face and Jay leaned against the rail, his arm hanging over as he caressed her cheek. She was adorable with the pink cheeks, just like Erin had from time to time and he realized she looked a little like the both of them, although that wouldn't be clear until she was older, probably.

As Erin and Natalie were both asleep he cleaned the kitchen and made lunch for Erin and woke her up and Erin told him it was time for feeding again and he was a little surprised, but got Natalie, didn't know she needed to get fed again. He walked a few steps through the room, making sure he did what the therapist had told him as he wanted to be walking when Natalie learned how to walk. He wanted to hold her hand and assist her with the first steps. Erin looked exhausted again and Jay took Natalie from her. Natalie was crying and Jay tried to shoo her, cradling her in his arms and he tried to comfort her but she only started to cry louder and her face because even more red.

''You should change her nappy.'' Erin said then as she figured it was the problem and Jay looked a little scared but Erin was sure he would do great and Jay nodded, went to the changing table of the nursery with her and got Natalie undressed and got the nappy open and before he could even do something Natalie realized everything that was not in the diaper yet and Jay cleaned his hand with a wet wipe while Natalie just smiled on him.

''I had not expected this to happen on the third day...but you had to pee on your daddy sooner or later.'' Jay smirked and he realized he should wash Natalie, as she had her last bath in the hospital two days ago. Slowly he brought her to the bathroom and got a baby bath in the sink.

Natalie was laying on the towel, almost as if she was excited for her first bath and gave her daddy a smile again as if she signed she was ready for her bath and Jay smiled.

Jay wheeled to the sink, checking the water as he let the little baby bath tub stream full and he checked the water again, making sure the temperature was okay and carefully he lowered Natalie in the water, holding her tightly so she couldn't slip or he face could be in the water and she cried for a second when her hand touched the water but seemed to be okay with the water then. Carefully he grabbed the shampoo bottle but started to doubt then if he should use the baby soap or shampoo first and he looked at the bottles, Natalie slipping out of his hands for a second and her head was under water for less than an second and he lifted her up again, the baby girl crying and he wrapped the towel around her, crying hair and holding her in his arms.

''I am so so sorry. I am so sorry girl.'' He whispered and she stopped crying. When he finally calmed down himself she was smiling at him again and he tried not cry, knowing he messed up as he expected he would. Why did he mess up? It could have ended really bad! She could have gotten water in his lungs. Why was he stupid? Why did he mess up like expected!

Natalie was asleep again in his arms and he realized she was okay and finally he got her diaper on again and her clothes back on, realized she was okay and he shouldn't be so hard on himself. Sure, he messed up now, but he knew it wouldn't happen again, He would never get hurt again and he would never mess up again. He was going to be the best father he could. Slowly he brought her back to her room and laid her down in the crib with the rail down, kissing her on her forehead and caressed her cheek as his daughter remained asleep and he rolled her in the sheets with little ducks and she was still sleeping with the smile and her pink cheeks.

She seemed so peaceful, like everything in the world was right and he leaned closer to her.

''I know I really messed up back there but I love you, Natalie and I will try to be the best dad I can. I will look after you and protect you.'' He said softly and he left the room so the girl could sleep. Slowly he wheeled back to his bedroom and smiled as Erin was also asleep. His girls were both fine and asleep and he laid back on bed as well, tired from the day already and he dozed off for a second, woke up surprised as Erin was feeding Natalie again and it was a lot later.

''I am sorry, I should have gotten her for you.''

''It's okay.'' Erin said with a smile and he looked at his girls.

''I love you more than anything else in the world.'' He said and he was going to do his best to be the best father and boyfriend he could possibly be.

* * *

Note: Jay is trying to be the best father he can and hopefully he trust himself now, although he messed up, but Natalie is okay. Do you think he should tell Erin? What would happen if he told Erin?

On a side note, in my story everything that happened with Jin in the last few episodes did not happen in this story as the storyline was made before that. So he is not dead and still a proud member of the intelligence unit, working with Jay. As did Antonio not get shot and Laura didn't leave him etc.

I hope you liked this chapter and please leave a review with what you thought about it and what you still want to see in the story! In the next chapter Natalie will visit the station for the first time!

Thank you!


	8. Chapter 8

**3 weeks later**

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''Are you okay?'' Jin asked as Jay was yawning constantly.

''Just a little tired, Natalie was crying last night all night long, me and Erin didn't sleep a lot but it's fine. Thats what you get with becoming a daddy.'' Jay explained and he carried on working. Lately they had not been sleeping a lot but they knew it was a part of being a parent. It was also very cold outside and Natalie slept in bet with them a lot as it was so cold.

Erin walked outside of the station, pushed the stroller up the ramp and looked as Platt looked like her and the stroller.

''Well hello, a special guest.'' She said dryly and left the desk, walking to the stroller and leaned over it, cooing to Natalie and Natalie looked at Platt, her lip started to shake and the young girl started to cry, loudly and Platt walked away again.

''Oh my, Platt. Why did you make this little princess cry?'' Another officer smirked as they walked by and Erin lifted Natalie out of the stroller, giving the little girl her pacifier and Natalie stopped crying.

''Let's go see your dad, huh?'' She said as she carried the girl to the office. Natalie dropped the pacifier and started to make cooing sounds and Erin cooed back as she grabbed the pacifier from her shirt and entered the office, knocking on the door.

''Duckling!'' Jay said as he took Natalie from Erin's arms and kissed her on her forehead, the little girl playing with the board of his shirt and smiling again. Jin stood up and walked towards the parents. Natalie smiled at him as well and Jin took her from Jay, held her for a second.

''Aren't you the cutest little girl?'' He said and looked at the clock. ''Time for lunch.''

Erin took Natalie from him again and she and Jay and Natalie went to the small coffee bar they had lunch more often. Erin had fed Natalie before they left so the little girl was taking a nap in the stroller while Jay and Erin had lunch.

''I put her in bed this morning...so...why do you avoid putting Natalie in bath. I know you are avoiding it, but why?'' She asked and Jay looked at his lunch, too worried.

''I...the alst time I put her in bath I slipped with my mind and she slipped out of my hands, she landed in the water. She could have drowned Erin! I can't do it!''

Erin tilted her head and sighed. ''I tis not your fault, Jay. I t can happen and Natalie is all fine. Don't worry about it.'' She said as she laid her arm around him. She wasn't mad or shocked, it could happen and Natalie was fine and she felt bad that he didn't dare to put his own daughter in bath.

They went back to the station and as Jay had work to do and she had things to do this afternoon she decided to leave Natalie with Voight as Jay would be too distracted with Natalie in his office.

Erin left the stroller with Jay so he could finish his work and took Natalie in her arms and walked up the stairs. She was barely in the office when Natalie was taken from her and Antonio swayed her around in his arms.

''Oh my beautiful god-daughter, what are you looking pretty in that dress! Your mommy must have hit the boys away from you when you came here.'' He laughed and Natalie laughed as she seemed to be really font of Antonio and loved being around him. Ruzek, Burgess and Atwater walked towards Antonio and started to discuss which parent she looked most like.

''She has Jay's mouth and smile.''

''But Erin's eyes.''

''But she is just as handsome as her godfather, even tough we are not related.'' Antonio said as the girl was falling asleep against Antonio's shoulder and suddenly Voight joined them as well.

''You wished you looked like my beautiful granddaughter. Glad she doesn't.'' Voight said as he took Natalie from Antonio, cradling her in his arms and Erin walked to him.

''I have to go somewhere this afternoon, can Natalie stay here for the afternoon?'' Erin asked and Voight nodded. Antonio got the stroller and he laid Natalie in it, so she could sleep in his office and Erin left.

Jay was still working downstairs and he was a little sad that Erin hadn't left Natalie here but she was right, he would be too distracted from work. When he was done with work later that afternoon Ruzek brought the stroller and Natalie downstairs so Jay could take her home. Erin was preparing dinner and he finished it as she was feeding Natalie then. The kitchen was all adapted on his height while he was sitting, so he could finish the cooking.

''Babe, you have to pour it off before mixing it with the sauce.'' Erin said, sitting on the kitchen chair, nursing Natalie and he looked at her.

''Right, sorry.'' He said and Erin laid Natalie in her crib and walked up behind Jay and laid her arms around him.

''Don't be sorry about it. It is nothing to be sorry about.'' She said as she kissed him on the side of his face and he shrugged.

''I wish I know, I wish I could make dinners for you like I did before I was shot. When I could do it without help and forgetting about things. I know it was a lot easier to live together with me back then.''

''Shut up, Jay. You know that is not true.'' She said as she sat down on his lap and kissed him. ''I love you and it is not any different since you were shot. With that I mean not my feelings for you. They are the same.'' She said as she kissed him again.

They had dinner and in the evening they watched TV together, Erin laying in his arms and she got up.

''Time to feed Natalie.'' A little later she walked back to the couch and sat down with Jay again, nursing Natalie and he smiled as he loved his family. Shortly after the put Natalie to bed in her ducky room and laid her in bed.

''Little duckling.'' Jay smiled as they went to their own room. Because of the room they kept calling her little duckling. They watched a little more tv, snuggling on the couch.

''Are you happy?'' Erin asked then as she was worried, because he seemed to be so focussed on the things he couldn't do anymore instead of the things that he still could.

''I never been happier. I love you and Natalie...I am just worried and I hope you understand that.''

''I do, but stop worrying please. That would make me even happier.'' She said and she kissed him again.

* * *

NOTE: The little duckling has met her family at the station! I hope you like dit. Please leave a review with what you thought and what you want to see in the upcoming chapters!


	9. Chapter 9

**5 weeks later**

* * *

Erin was finishing the cake she was making as Jay was dressing Natalie by the kitchen table. He was dressing her up in the dress she had gotten from Antonio and Laura and it looked really great on her.

''Gotta to look good for grandma, right?'' He said as he kissed her on her forehead as he put her on his lap, holding her with one hand as she laid back against his tummy and laughed at her mother, moving her hands as if she wanted to grab Erin. Then the doorbell rang and Erin took Natalie so Jay could open the door and he did so, his mom immediately hugging him and kissing him on his cheeks.

''It is so good to see you again!'' She said and Jay nodded and they went to kitchen. She felt bad as Jay was still in a wheelchair as she had hoped that her son had been walking by now. She hugged Erin and took the little girl from her arms, the two month old laughing as she love dit when people held her and she moved her arms and legs excited. They moved to the living room where Natalie was playing on the rug on the floor, looking at the stuff hanging above her in the air and excited she started to wave her arms and kick her legs, trying to grab it.

''I brought some toys for her, I know she is still to young for them now...but I hope she will like them when she is old enough.'' His mother said as she handed the parents three wrapped boxed and Jay and Erin started to open them.

''This is so great.'' Erin said as she saw the three dolls of the Disney movie they used to watch together.

''She has to love them, I am sure.'' Jay said as he held the Elsa doll in his hands and Erin put then all three in her room, on the shelf, sitting to she could take them when she was old enough.

''How are you doing, with therapy...and ofcourse the new found care of Natalie?'' His mom asked worried as Erin was away and Jay shrugged.

''It's going pretty well.''

''You said you would be walking last January and now it's March.''

Jay just nodded, trying to keep his friendly smile but he was pretty upset that his mom said that, although she was right he tried his best.

''Yeah, you are right...but I have improved, I can walk small parts now, even with Natalie in my arms.'' He said and his mom almost gasped; ''What if you drop her?''

''Mom, I won't drop her!'' Jay said mad and as Erin returned he went to the bathroom, upset. Why did his mom have to be like this? Maybe she was right that it was dangerous but he would never let Natalie fall and Erin trusted him. SLowly he got ready to return to the living room. The doorbell rang again and Jay went to the door, surprised. Maybe Antonio to drop some files. But he was even more surprised to see his dad in the doorway.

''Can I come in?''

''Dad...now is not a really great time.'' He said as he didn't want to have his parents together in one room after fifteen years. Shit, his mom came here for once and suddenly he was here too.

''Oh...'' His dad said sad and he held up a plastic bag; ''I saw this dress in the shop and I was sure it would fit Natalie. But then...well...guess you should try it and if it doesn't or you don't like it...just throw it out.'' His dad said as he dropped the bag on Jay's leg and his dad wanted to walk away. Jay felt really bed and sighed.

''Dad, come in.''

His dad walked past him and walked inside.

''The floor is really dirty for a house with a newborn.'' His dad said as he was worried when Natalie would start crawling.

''Natalie isn't crawling for another four to seven months...but it's the wheelchair. I know we should get a separate one for in house but I had expected to be walking now and we can't...nevermind.'' Jay said as he didn't want to tell his dad they couldn't afford another expensive wheelchair, as his dad would buy it for him then and he didn't want that. His dad walked in the living room, looked almost shocked as he saw his former wife sitting there.

''I should go.'' He said then and he wanted to turn around and his mom jumped up.

''Yes, you should go, like you did before!'' She said angry and Jay stopped his father.

''Just, try the dress on Natalie, okay? I really like you took it for her.'' He said as he was torn between his mom and dad and he thought it was so kind of his dad to take the dress. He didn't want to choose between his mom and dad and his mind became so confused again. He knew they couldn't be together but couldn't they just act normal with him around? With Erin and most important, Natalie around?

''I am leaving!'' Both of his parents said at the same time and mad Jay looked at them. His mind was so confused now and he didn't want to choose between them although he felt he had to. He didn't want to damnit! His mind became one big blur again, just as it had more often after the shooting and he looked around for Erin, but she was changing Natalie. Maybe he was wrong for expecting his parents to be here for Natalie. He hadn't want to bring them together here and now it happened and they were acting like immature teens.

''Just go then!'' He said angry and upset. He had been stupid for inviting his dad inside, but he had hoped that could at least be in one room together. His parents looked at him and silently they sat down, giving each other one quick glance. They both sat on the opposite side of the couch but at least they stayed and Jay calmed down, tried to calm his mind down and finally he turned the wheelchair around and joined his parents again.

''Thank you, I am not saying you have to become wife and husband again but at least behave decent around Natalie, she deserves some decent grandparents.'' Jay said and his parents nodded. His dad took the girl on his lap and Natalie laughed at him and his mom looked as Natalie smiled at Jurgen. Maybe she was jealous as he was around Natalie more as he lived way closer by but his mom didn't show it too much.

They spend the afternoon together, talking about Natalie.

''But...Jay...when you ever need any help.'' His mom said as she was ready to leave and his dad looked at her; ''he doesn't need any help, he is going great.''

At first his mother seemed to want t get mad at his dad but at the last second she managed to turn the frown into a smile.

''I guess so. Good luck Jay.'' She said as she kissed him on his forehead and looked at Erin and Natalie, the last girl wearing the dress she had just gotten from her granddad.

* * *

NOTE: At least Jay's parents promised they would do their best not to fight anymore. Can their granddaughter bring them together after all?

Please tell me what you thought and what you hope to see in the future chapters and thank you for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

**A few months later, Natalie is 50 weeks old. **

* * *

Natalie was playing on the blanket with her stuffed duck while Jay walked, the therapist holding him by his upper arm.

''Dada!'' Natalie sang as she hugged the ducky again and looked as her father was walking and Jay kept concentrating on walking. Soon after, therapy was over and the therapist lifted Natalie up.

''Aren't you a cutie.'' He said as the girl smiled at him, dropping the pacifier from her mouth and Jay kneeled down, sat down on the floor and cleaned it with a tissue from his pocket.

''Don't you have some others with you?'' The therapist asked worried but Jay shook his head.

''You make a big mistake, this girl is a princess and she needs to be treated like one and this is the only pacifier that is good enough for her.'' Jay smirked and when it was clean he got up again, handed it to his girl and walked to his wheelchair. He wish he could walk at the same time as his daughter, but Natalie was walking a lot faster than he was already. He took Natalie from the therapist leaned back, satisfied as she really did feel like a royal as she knew she could make daddy go everywhere she wanted.

After he changed from his sport clothes to his casual clothes she walked to the cafeteria, Jay wheeling slowly so she could keep up with him. Every now and then she looked up to make sure her daddy was still with her.

At the cafeteria he got a coffee for himself and a small plate of fries while Natalie looked at the strawberries in front of her and took one from the bowl and handed it to her daddy. Jay cut it in pieces and handed it to her and she ate them. She started to jabber to him, very serious as if she was actually telling him something while eating her lunch. Ever since they had given her a strawberry four weeks ago she couldn't stop eating them. When she saw on in an advert she would point and scream and the last week, as he always had a day off and therapy on Wednesday, he had lunch with her here and she had strawberries. He usually took her with him, as it was only for an hour and she enjoyed herself with her stuffed animal and toys.

They went home by bus. Natalie was talking to ducky on his lap and his phone rang. He of the bus and took the phone, holding Natalie with his other arm.

''Babe?'' Erin asked and Jay held the phone.

''I am here.''

''We are going on a raid...I just wanted to tell you, so you know.''

Erin always called him before going on a raid and on one hand he was happy she did because then he knew what was going on, but on the other hand it frightened him. He was awaiting the call that she was fine and when it took long he got even more worried.

''Be safe.'' He said and she promised that she would, as always and he held the phone by Natalie's ear. Erin talked to her for a little bit, Natalie smiling and Jay went inside. Inside the house he tried to walk as much as possible and Natalie followed him everywhere. Natalie then crawled to the rug she always played and Jay sat down next to her. Natalie grabbed her two favourite toys, the frozen dolls she had gotten from his mother and she handed the red haired one to Jay.

''Do you want to build a snowman?'' Jay asked with a silly voice as he held the doll in front of her. Natalie shouted out of laughter and carried on playing with the doll she was holding. Jay looked at the clock, absent. He worried so much when she was gone. He got up to grab some water in the kitchen. Leaning against the counter he drank some water as he looked at Natalie jabbering against the doll with a smile and he realized that she was okay. It was good that she had no idea what was going on. He wonder if that was what Laura felt every time Antonio went to do something dangerous. BUt he also knew she didn't perceive it as dangerous as he had done it before...it had just ended bad. But he also knew he would do the work again if he could.

Suddenly, he woke up on the floor and saw Natalie playing right in front of him, pushing the doll in his face and he tried to crawl up, his head beating and only now he realized he was on the kitchen floor.

Pulling himself up by the counter he realized he had a seizure and he made sure he hadn't dropped the glass, but it was still on the counter. Dazzled and confused he leaned against the counter again and he tried to keep from puking as he grabbed his phone. Luckily there was a call from Erin.

''How are you and Natalie?'' She asked and Jay was relieved she was okay.

''We are fine.'' He said then as he walked to the bathroom, Natalie following him.

''Sometimes daddy loses control for a second...and it's bad, I know. I wish you could stay forever this young, when you are too young to understand that your mom does dangerous things...and that your dad might be different from the other dads.'' Jay said as he took some medication for the headache, Natalie just standing behind him and he walked back with her, playing a little longer before they prepared dinner.

She stood on his lap and threw the spaghetti in the water and laughed proud as she did so and she hugged Jay tight as she was still standing. The front door opened and Erin entered, kissed Jay and lifted Natalie up.

''Are you preparing dinner, darling?'' She laughed as Natalie hugged her as well and as dinner was ready they took place by the dinner table.

''I had an attack today, second time in three months.'' Jay said and she caressed his hand.

''Are you going to ask for other medication?''

''Maybe.'' Jay said as he looked at Natalie, he hopes she would never see him having a seizure.

''You know Jay, I have been thinking. I know you need the wheelchair, but you use it outside and Natalie is crawling over the floor...maybe we could see if insurance covers a second one? For inside?'' Erin asked then but Jay shook his head.

''I asked, it doesn't. But i can walk around the house.''

''You get tired very easily.''

Jay nodded slowly as he knew it was true.

''But we can't afford it.'' Jay said then.

* * *

NOTE: Jay had some quality time with his daughter and while he is learning how to walk she is walking as well! Erin returned home safely but can they find a way to fix the problem with the money.

Thank you so much for reading I hope you liked it and please leave a review with what you thought.


	11. Chapter 11

''but we have a nearly on year old daugh-'' Erin sighed desperately as the insurance company kept cutting her off.

''But why doesn't insurance cover another wheelchair?'' Erin said on the phone and only now she realized Antonio was standing in the kitchen and slowly she walked out so she could call privately and Antonio looked up as he had overheard the convo.

Erin still didn't get a decent answer and upset she walked to her desk, Antonio looked at her.

''Anytihng wrong?''

''Nothing, just running in some trouble with insurance.'' She sighed as she sat down to sign some more papers and Antonio looked at Ruzek and Burgess and before she noticed what was going on they walked to the kitchen.

The day was over and Erin walked downstairs, into Jay's office and Jay was already ready to leave.

''I asked Antonio and Laura if they could watch Natalie tonight but they couldn't but Voight is coming to pick her up at eight, because I wanted to take you out for dinner.'' Jay said then and Erin smiled.

''I like that.'' Erin smiled as they went outside.

''I was thinking about going to Taverna.'' Jay smiled as he folded the wheelchair and Erin laughed.

''You never forget we went on our first date there right, after the movie?''

''Will never forget that, after that it was my favourite restaurant.'' Erin said as they went to the car. After getting dressed for dinner they brought Natalie to Voight and he was cooking dinner for himself as Erin handed him the container of mashed vegetables that Natalie liked and only had to be heated. They left and Voight looked as the little girl was playing on the floor with her dolls as he finished up playing.

''Lalala.'' She sing and jabbered as she walked after him tot he table, holding his index finger as she walked next to him and he lifted her up, got her in the childs seat and

''Natalie, can you say Hank?'' He laughed as he fed her the dinner and she laughed at him, the mashed vegetables almost falling out of her mouth and she ate again.

''Or grandpa?'' Voight said then and Natalie pointed at the spoon with a pout so instead he brought it to her mouth, guessing she was hungry. After dinner he changed his diaper and he tried to remember how it was when he had been looking after Justin when he was still little, but he could hardly remember it. That he wasn't at home because of his demanding job was the main reason they divorced.

''Let's watch some cartoons, shall we?'' He asked then and Natalie walked in front of him the living room and he lifted her up on the couch next to him and before he could even get the tv changed to the childs cartoon channel she was already asleep, her smile still visible behind the pacifier and Voight caressed the curls away from her face.

''You know, you got a family backing you up. A family that is going to keep you safe and watch out for you. My son never had that and I hope you will never be put in the same situations as him and that you never make the wrong decisions. But you got really great parents and your grandpa is always looking out for you, as is your godfather. You will be safe and hopefully that smile will never disappear of your face.'' Voight said then as he lifted her up and laid her in the small bad that was spare for when she stayed over and he laid her in bed, looking a few minutes as she was asleep, so peacefully and he wished he had spend these moments with Justin when he was so small and he regret he had spend more time at the station than with his own infant son. But at least he got a second chance with Natalie.

At Taverna, Jay and Erin were having dinner by the candle light.

''Would you mind if I couldn't walk on our wedding?'' Jay asked then. He had been wanting to ask Erin to marry him for so long now, but he had been afraid as he had promised her he would be able to walk on their wedding, but he couldn't walk yet. But he did want to marry her and the therapy was progressing so slow he was afraid they would never get married if he didn't do anything.

''Ofcourse not. I wish that you could, but I just want to be with you. I am sure that if we get married, the day will be perfect.''

They finished the dinner and she smiled at him.

''But you still have to ask me.'' She said then with a wink and Jay started to blush. After finishing dessert he paid and they went outside.

''Before we go home, can we have a small walk in the park?'' He asked then and Erin nodded. He put his wheelchair in the car and he laid his arm around her as they walked to the park nearby. With his arm around her he could easily walk and he loved walking with her. She laid her hand on the hand that was over her shoulder and smiled at him when he suddenly stopped and sat down on one knee. Slowly his fingers folded around the box in his pocket and he got it out.

''Erin Lindsay, will you marry me?'' He asked then.

She laid her hand in front of her mouth and laughed.

''Yes, yes!'' She said then as she kissed him.

* * *

NOTE: Jay finally asked Erin to marry her as he didn't want to wait any longer because recovery is not moving fast but what are Antonio and the others planning?

I hope you liked this chapter, also with the little scene with Voight looking after his granddaughter and thought back about the time with his son. They didn't gave much details on Justin's mom, didn't they? Or did I forget something? THank you so much reading and please leave a review with what you thought.


	12. Chapter 12

**3 weeks later**

* * *

''You are so spoiled, always sitting on your daddy's lap.'' Erin smirked as Natalie sat on her father's lap, looking around as if she was a princess in a chariot and Jay just laughed.

''It's easy now the stroller is getting too small for her.'' He concluded and they saw Laura standing by the fence. At first Jay found it really hard to be here, at the marathon near the fences he fell on but he wanted to see Ruzek, Burgess, Atwater, Antonio and Jin run it and they joined Laura. It was almost the finish and they could see the gates that was the end. It was int he afternoon and they knew that they would finish soon.

The group suddenly came passing by and Jay looked really surprised as their shirts were printed with pictures and to his surprise he was pictures of him and Erin. The back of the shirt said; ''CPD officer needs your help, please donate so he can pay for his care.''

Erin looked at him, surprised and Jay looked even more surprised. Some people seemed to recognize him from the t-shirts. Jay and Erin went to the finish, surprised by what happened and he stopped in front of Antonio.

'''What...?''

''If the insurance company won't arrange it, we will for you.'' Antonio said and he looked at Erin; ''Sorry, I overheard you calling the company...but we got enough money for the wheelchair, for sure.''

''More than enough.'' Jim smiled, stretching while Ruzek was on the ground, completely drained by the run and Atwater and Brugess seemed like they were almost ready to get their last rites as well, as they were exhausted. Jay thanked him more than a thousand times and hugged them, couldn't believe his friends did this to him as Erin looked at the marathon street, this was not the street where he had fallen, but it reminded her of the day and it frightened her.

They went to drink something and had dinner together when it got pretty late and Erin and Jay went home. He was very grateful for what his friends did and when Jin checked the donations it turned out to be so much they promised that every dime they would not need, would go to another charity.

Maybe he finally could stop worrying a little bit and with the chair arranged, they could finally start to safe money for the wedding.

At home, Jay put Natalie to bed.

''Goodnight, little duckling.''

Suddenly Jay fell to the floor.

His mind took him back to Natalie's first birthday, two weeks ago and Voight sat down next to the girl, handing her the small wrapped present and Natalie moved in her hands. Erin took it from her and unwrapped it, let the silver necklace dangle in front of the girl and she stretched her hand out to the dangling silver duck on the necklace.

''That is pretty!'' Laura said as she and Antonio entered and they were carrying an envelope.

''It matches our present.'' Antonio said and he lifted his god-daughter up as Erin and Jay were still looking at the necklace. It was so pretty and only now they saw that the duck was engraved with her name.

''It is so pretty...but way too much.''

''Nothing to much for my granddaughter.'' Voight said and he sat down while Lauren and Antonio gave the envelope to Erin.

''Maybe you don't want to get her ears pierced, but we thought it would be a nice present to offer.'' Lauren said as they looked at the card, a jewel box with two silver earing in the shape of small ducks and a card that said they would pay the piercing.

''She can look a little more like her godfather, I mean, imagine if she would look like her grandpa.'' Antonio said in a funny way as he touched his own earring and Jay and Erin laughed.

''Love the idea.'' Erin said and Jay smirked.

''Luckily you pay for two, makes a better balance, to bad you can't be saved anymore...or has your face always been like this?'' Jay joked to Antonio as he handed him a beer.

''Nopthing to save.'' Laura laughed. Jay looked at the table where the gifts were all stalled out and a little dissapointed he looked at their gifts. Rainboots and a raincoat with little ducks - because that is what princess Natalie liked, a book about Lilo and Stitch and a stitch doll that she found scary. Why were they so bad at being parents? They wanted her to give something good but there was no money.

''JAY!''

Suddenly he woke up, Erin hanging over him, worried while Natalie was crying in the crib. She helped him up and confused he walked to their bedroom with her, laying down on the bed as his legs were giving in and she walked back, made sure Natalie was asleep and walked back.

''You had another seizure I think.'' She said worried as she sat down next to him and caressed over the side of his face and through his hair.

''They are happening more often.'' Jay said sad and Eri nodded.

''They are.''

Jay turned around and closed his eyes, tried to fall asleep as he was upset with his own body.

* * *

NOTE: The others are doing such a good thing for Jay, but Jay is in trouble with the seizures getting worse. Did they cheer to early that he was recovered from the bullet wound and will it have consequences for him taking care of Natalie?

I hope you liked this chapter and i am sorry about skipping her first birthday, but we still saw some of it through the dream he had after his seizure. Thank you for reading and I hope you liked this chapter and you still like this story, as i am not sure if you like the direction it is going it. Please do leave a review with what you think about this story and if you like it.


	13. Chapter 13

**3 months later **

* * *

''Babe?'' Erin entered the room, softly, She wanted to switch on the light to see if Jay was still asleep but she didn't want to wake him if he was asleep. He needed the sleep after being awake the whole night because of the headache after a seizure.

''Dada?'' Natalie said as she held her ducky in her hand, looking into the dark bedroom.

''I think daddy is asleep.'' Erin said softly and she wanted to close the door but Natalie walked inside and climbed onto their bed.

''Dada?'' She asked as she crawled to Jay and laid ducky down next to him. Erin looked at Jay, asleep and she bit her lip. She knew he was exhausted from the night and the seizures, but she wished he would leave bed more often and spend some time with Natalie and her. Lately, he had been to work, but in bed most weekends because he was so exhausted. He was lacking therapy and it made her upset. After all that they had already been through and all the things he overcome after the headshot, it was like he was giving up now. After the headshot had regained to much and now the seizures made him give it up.

Natalie was still jabbering to her daddy and Erin looked sad her dad didn't react, as he was asleep. Slowly she lifted their daughter of the bed. Jay woke up now and looked at Erin. He still looked exhausted and she knew he wasn't going to work again but she still had a little hope he would at least try to do something today, especially as he was supposed to have therapy today.

''Are you planning to come out of bed today?'' She asked, more rude than she had wanted, but she felt really upset and afraid that he was going to spend another day in bed. Jay sat up, rubbing through his eyes.

''Maybe...'' He said then and she lifted Natalie up a little higher so she held her more comfortable.

''You have therapy in an hour. Do it for me and at least try to get there.'' She said but Jay shook his head and wanted to lay back down. Upset Erin left the room and walked to the kitchen with Natalie.

''Sometimes daddy is a bit...yeah. I know you are too young to understand, but he has been through a lot, but iti is no reason for him to treat his family like this. I know it is hard for him but I would think that after all he has been through, it would be a reason to spend as much time with us as possible, instead of laying in bed all day long.'' Erin sighed, more to herself than to Natalie as she prepared a bowl of fruit for the girl. She started to eat the fruit and in the bedroom, Jay sat up in bed. Slowly he sat down on the edge of the bed and transferred to his wheelchair. He went to the kitchen as well and joined the table with Erin and Natalie, smiling at the little girl and Erin laid her hand on his.

''I can drive you to therapy if you want.''

''I am not going.'' Jay said as he looked in the newspaper.

''Why not?'' She asked a little upset. ''Why don't you try anymore, Jay!'' She asked angry and he shrugged.

''Does it matter? I keep getting seizures and no medicine is working. I don't know Erin, I am just tired.'' He said and she frowned, angry. He looked terrible as he was so pale and looked so tired but she jut wanted him to put effort in things again. Lately she hadn't even been able to go to work a lot as she had to care for Natalie while Jay was in bed and she knew she was lucky they were working for Voight, otherwise she had been in trouble a long time ago.

Jay still went to the office every now and then, but it didn't happen very often as he was simply to exhausted and scared he would get an other seizure in the station. Jay knew Erin was upset with him and he went to the living room, looked as Natalie walked into the living room and started to play with her dolls, looking at Jay.

''Dada?'' She asked as she held up a doll.

''No princess, daddy is not playing with you now.'' He said as he was still tired and his back hurt him and he laid down on the sofa, looking as she was playing. With a pout she carried on playing.

''You should play with her, I know that she misses her daddy as I miss my fiance! I miss the man that I loved once, the man that told me to never give up on him, but I am giving up now, Jay.'' Erin said with crossed arms, standing in front of him.

''That man is gone ever since he got shot in the head, Erin, and you know that!'' Jay said cranky.

''I feel like you have given up, given up because of the seizures. You are never playing with Natalie, you never spend time with me, it's like you don't want to be a part of the family anymore. I know it's not easy Jay, but you barely leave your bed and it's not easy for us either. We miss you.'' Erin said then. ''And I don't know how much longer I can take this!'' She said then and as she walked away, Jay thought that she was crying.

Jay swallowed, tears filling his eyes as Erin walked away and Jay sat up, got up and walked to the kitchen, holding onto the things he could grab. Natalie walked after him and he reached his hand out but she walked away from him.

''Erin?'' He asked but she wasn't in the kitchen.

''Erin, I am sorry.'' He said but he had no idea where she was. Slowly he walked back to the couch and slumped down, his legs shaking from the little effort and he laid his hands on his knees. He knew she was probably right, he was giving up.

Sad he stared to the floor when he saw Natalie walking back into the room with Ducky. She looked at Jay with her thumb in her mouth, still holding Ducky and Jay smiled and spread his arms.

''Are you going to watch tv with daddy?'' He asked then but Natalie walked away and disappointed Jay looked away. Maybe Erin was right, maybe he was really ruining the family.

* * *

NOTE: Uh oh, things are not going well with Jay but not with Erin either...between the two of them it is not going great either! Can Jay fix his problems with his health and with Erin before it is too late? Can Erin still help him overcome everything he needs to overcome? So he can enjoy raising Natalie again soon?

Thank you so much for reading and still following the story. I am sorry for the late update but I hope you are still interested in the story. Please do leave a review before you go with what you think! Feedback keeps me motivated to write!


	14. Chapter 14

''Why didn't you wake me up?'' Jay said upset as it was almost time to leave to work. He wasn't going to work, but he would at least see Natalie before Erin took her to day care. Erin shook her head and looked at him, angry. The last few days he still hadn't done anything and she was thinking about leaving him. She didn't want to but she didn't know how much longer she could take it. She wanted to marry him as they were engaged now but she couldn't take it anymore. SHe just wanted him to try again, try to work and therapy and spend time with Natalie but Jay was still too depressed.

''You usually don't put any effort in waking up and I am not going to put any more effort in us.'' Erin sighed as she lifted Natalie up and get her ready for day care. Jay looked as Erin left the kitchen, sitting down on the chair as his legs were giving in and he looked at the floor, upset. He knew Erin was right, but he didn't want her to stop caring about him.

''I could make dinner for us tonight.'' Jay said then as she entered the kitchen again. Erin didn't say anything and instead just walked away with Natalie. Jay laid his head on his arms on the table. He had hoped that his offer would make her talk to him again, but there was nothing that seemed to be okay. He knew he was stupid for how he had been treathing her and Natalie. Now he wanted to make it better, but he didn't have the energy for it.

Slowly he got up and walked to the showers, almost falling down and tumbling over Natalie's toys. He knew he had been home for so long but he wasn't even upset by it anymore, he just became numb. He didn't care anymore, he just wanted it to stop, he didn't want to be tired and in pain and he didn't want to wake Erin up anymore every night. He woke her up when he had a seizure and she would help him and still he couldn't even find the energy to thank her for that and he knew it was bad, but he couldn't do anything. He just felt drained.

Jay got in the shower, sitting down on the shower chair and he showered. Maybe he should try to get to therapy like Erin said and he wanted to try but after showering he was so exhausted that he got his sweatpants and shirt on and laid down on the couch, falling asleep again. Suddenly he was woken up by two hands grabbing his shoulders and waking him up.

''You, you are a freaking idiot! You are an idiot Jay! After all that happened you let yourself get worse instead of better and you break your family.'' Antonio said angry and he looked at Jay, angry.

''You are stupid! Erin has always been there for you after you have been shot and everything that happened and you treat her so bad. I can't believe it Jay, what are you doing?'' Antonio asked angry and Jay looked at Antonio.

''I want to get better, but every time I think I am getting better those seizures come back!'' Jay said angry as he hit on the table and Antonio shook his head.

''What happened to you? You were a fighter and now you only complain and you act full of self pity.'' Antonio said angry and he looked at Jay.

''You better start being a better man to your family, because now it is me telling you this but next time it is going to be Voight, because you are hurting Erin.'' Antonio said angry and Jay sighed.

''I don't want to hurt Erin...I just...I just...I don'r-'' Jay stammered but Antonio interrupted.

''Don't make excuses and od something, go to therapy again and fight for your walking so you can walk with Natalie. So you can walk with Erin on your wedding day.'' Antonio said and Jay slowly started to nod. Antonio had only heard from Erin today what was going on with Jay lately and it made him mad. He thought Jay was not at work because he really was to sick but now he realized that Jay was being depressed and they had to get him out of this.

He would understand that Jay was sad he still couldn't walk and that the seizures where getting worst but it made him angry that Erin was suffering while she had been supporting Jay for so long.

Antonio left after talking with Jay a little longer and Jay looked through the house, he really knew that he had to do something about it. He didn't want to hurt Erin, not at all.

''What is this?'' Erin said surprised as she entered the house and saw that most of it was clean, that the picture frame she had asked Jay was hanging on the wall and dinner was on the table. Jay came walking her way, hardly able to do to so and he took Natalie in his arms, lifting her up shortly before grabbing Erin, afraid he would fall and she frowned at him as he kissed her. He was going to chance he was going to be a good man again and he knew it would take some time, but he would try.

''I am sorry, I am going to be a better fiance, I promise. I am going to be a better father, I promise.'' Jay said them as he held her and he knew he was stupid if he would ever let her go.

* * *

NOTE: Jay is finally going to try to feel better again and try to be a better person in the family but can he keep that promise and will Natalie finally have a father? Will Erin still marry him?

Thank you so much for reading ,I hope you liked the chapter and that you liked the appearance of Antonio in this chapter and that you thought that it was realistic. Please tell me what you thought about it by leaving a review!


	15. Chapter 15

**6 months later. Natalie is 2 now. **

* * *

''Yay!'' Natalie cheered as she and Jay walked to the ballet studio. He was already tired from PT this morning, but luckily he could still manage walking, although he would be happy when he could sit down in the studio. Last week them had been here too but Natalie was getting one more try-out lesson, to see if she really liked joining the ballet group.

They just came back from the police cemetery where they had put flowers on Julie's grave and back from the hospital, where he had had physical therapy.

He walked with her to the changing room and felt a little awkward as all the mothers were looking at him and he felt his face was getting red. He limped to an empty corner with Natalie and put his cane in the corner and helped her get dressed in the dance outfit.

Some of the mothers were looking at him and he felt even more awkward but Natalie was smiling happily, which made him feel okay. She really seemed to like ballet and he was happy she wasn't upset as they just came from therapy and from the grave of Julie Willhite, as it was four years ago she was shot today and Jay and Natalie had put flowers on her grave.

''Shoes.'' Natalie said and Jay sat down on the ground with a lot of effort as his legs were really tired, but he tied her shoes and she smiled proud at the pink tutu.

''The flowers on the grave were pretty.'' She said then, referring to the flowers on Julie's grave and instantly all the mothers looked at him, full of pity. He wanted to say something that referred to it not being her mothers grave but he couldn't come up with anything.

Holding Natalie's hand in one hand and his cane in the other, they left the crowded changing room and to the room they were practicing.

''Hey Natalie, nice to see you here again.'' The ballet teacher said and Natalie nodded. Jay sat down on the chairs that were there for the parents.

''Daddy, dance?'' Natalie asked as she took the cane from his hand and put it against the wall and took his hands, wanted to pull him of the chair because she wanted him to dance with her.

''Sorry baby, daddy is a little tired.'' He said then and a few moms sat down next to him. The class started and Natalie walked around a little nervous as she didn't really know what to do but she did really like it. But then she participated in the class and Jay looked the whole class, very proud of his daughter. At the end of class, the mother next to Jay looked at him with a big smile and pointed at Natalie.

''Your daughter?''

''Yeah.'' Jay said proud. She was getting along in the group so well and she really enjoyed the dancing.

''Can't be easy, raising her on your own.''

Before Jay could object she already started to talk again.

''You know, if you ever need any help with your girl you can always call me, here is my number.'' The woman held a paper out and before Jay could say anything, the teacher announced it was time for the parents to participate and Natalie ran to her daddy.

''He is my daddy! Mine!'' Natalie said as she climbed on Jay's lap as she looked at the woman offering her number and Jay laughed, but was almost glad that Natalie had saved her.

He stood up and tried to follow the instructions of the teacher, although it was hard as his knees were already so tired but he wanted to do it for Natalie, be the daddy she deserved.

''Aww look at how cute this is.'' Erin laughed as the class was over after the little dance with the parents and Jay smiled as she was there to pick them up and the woman that had tried to get his number looked at Erin and frowned. Erin just smiled as it had seem so sweet, Jay and Natalie together like this. Erin took Natalie from him so he could get the cane and after seeing bye to the teacher, they walked to the car. Erin strapped Natalie in the safety seat and he got in the car ont he passenger side. A month ago he had gotten his theoretical certificate for his own car and he was exited from the classes soon. He would get a car with both hand control en pedals. On the days he was tired, he would be able to drive with his hands when his legs were painful, but at least he could get around on his own again.

At home Erin and Natalie prepared dinner and they had dinner al together, Natalie more excited for dessert than the salat they were having and after dinner Jay slumped down on the couch, tired. His legs could hardly bear his weight anymore and he knew it was to blame on him lacking therapy. At night he still used a wheelchair in the house, as well as when they went far away but he was glad he could walk with his daughter now. BU the also knew his legs were done for today. As they would be for tomorrow but that was okay, he could use his wheelchair in the office. He was glad he could dance and walk today and spend time with his daughter.

Erin joined Natalie on the rug and they were playing with her dolls and Jay was watching and he was so glad now that he fought for his family, because h couldn't imagine what it was like without Erin and Natalie. Slowly he sat down on the ground with them as well and Natalie handed him a doll as well and with a smile on his face, he participated in the roleplay and Erin looked at him, nodding with a smile. They were a family again.

* * *

NOTE: Jay is an acitve member of the family again and is a part of Natalie's life again as well and finally he got out of his slump. Things are looking up again but as his seizures are still not gone, will Erin still let him drive and will make them get in trouble again?

I hope you liked this chapter, please do leave a review before you go by leaving a review and if you want to read more. Thank you for reading!


	16. Chapter 16

In the cabin that belonged to Antonio's parents, Erin looked as Jay ran over the grass, jumping into the water and he came up from the dark water, wiping his hair backward, water splashing out and he laughed at her.

''Come on, it is not cold at all.'' He said as he spread his arms and finally she ran out of the house and finally walked to the water, shivering in the cold and she walked into the cold water. Then she ran to Jay and jumped in his arms. As he held her in his arms she felt the rough skin on his stomach, which was from the and he almost dropped her. She laughed but also thought about the fact that it was four years ago when he was shot, today. That was why she thought it was good to have a weekend with just them and Voight had been happy that he could look after Natalie.

Then, they ran out of the water as it was so cold and inside she handed Jay a towel, as it was so cold. They were nuts for going into the water and She lit the fireplace while Jay sat down, his legs tired from running and standing into the water and she sat down on his lap, kissing him while they warmed each other with each others body warmth.

In Chicago, Natalie, Hank and Antonio and Lauren were having dinner at restaurant together and Natalie looked at her child portion of spaghetti that Voight had ordered for her and she squinted as she looked at the fries Antonio had gotten with his steak and she looked at them, as he was talking to Laura and looked away.

Voight looked as Natalie grabbed a fry from Antonio's plate and pushed in her mouth, smiling at Voight and Voight tried to keep from laughing. Antonio was still taking to Lauren and Natalie looked at Voight, her face having a mischievous smile on it, just like her father had sometimes and she grabbed another fry. Voight smirked and Antonio looked now, Natalie looking at him with the fry sticking out of her mouth. Antonio looked at her for a second and lifted her up then, laying her on his shoulder as he walked away from the table.

''You are under arrest for stealing my fries, young lady!'' He said and Natalie started to kick with her feet; ''No, Tonio let go! Let go!''

Antonio walked outside and suddenly he heard Natalie started to cry and he put her down, worried.

''I was just joking sweety.''

''I am sorry, Tonio. Don't arrest me.'' The little girl said sad and Antonio laughed, lifting her up and walked back inside, feeling sorry for making the girl cry. As they sat down by the table, Antonio handed some of the fries to Natalie and finally the girl starting smiling again.

''She always gets what she wants.'' Voight smirked.

''But sweety, you can't just take food from somebody else's plate.'' Voight said then to Natalie, serious and she nodded.

''But is Tonio's fries.'' She laughed then and the table laughed as she didn't mean it bad.

After dinner, he and Natalie left again and short before getting in the car Natalie ran to Antonio and hugged him.

''You are still my best friend, Tonio.'' She smiled then and Antonio smiled. ''You are my best friend too, Natie.'' He said and Natalie smiled. As she ran back tot Voight Antonio smiled as the girl was so sweet. As Natalie and Voight arrived home she was suddenly almost crying and Voight looked at her, worried.

'What is wrong?'' He asked worried and the girl looked at him with a pout.

''I miss Ducky.''

''Where is Ducky then, sweety?''

''Ducky is with mommy and daddy.'' She said and Voight nodded.

''Can you sleep without ducky?''

Natalie shook her head with a pout and Voight lifted her up. ''Do you want to sleep next to grandpa then, tonight?'' Voight asked as the girl seemed to scared and she nodded.

''Then you have to read me stories all night long.'' Natalie laughed.

''One story, young lady. One story.'' Voight laughed.

At the cabin, Erin laid against Jay in front of the fire, taking a sip of her wine and laying back against him, while his hand rubbed her shoulder as he stared in the flames.

''What are you thinking about?'' Erin asked as she handed him his bottle of beer and he raised his eyebrows.

''Huh, what is wrong?'' He asked and she laughed.

''I asked what you were thinking about.''

''About our wedding. We got engaged months ago but there are still no plans for our wedding.'' He said and she sighed.

''That is true, but I know that is not what you were thinking about.'' She said as she laid her hands on his, playing with the ring around his finger he had gotten from her and Natalie for fathers day, a simple silver sing with their names in it and he looked at her with a wry smile.

''You know what I was thinking about.''

''It's four years ago you got shot today.'' Erin said and Jay nodded.

''I know I shouldn't be thinking about it but I think about that day very often. I think about the conversation we had that morning and that I promised you that I would never leave you and then I almost did and i even lost my memory, which was also a way of losing you.'' Jay said and Erin shook her head.

''It was not, I still really really loved you...'' She said as she had still been in love with him, even when he had changed so much.

''What would you have done if I have never gotten my memory back?'' Jay asked and he looked at her.

''We would just have made new memories.'' She said as she kissed him.

* * *

NOTE: Jay and Erin are having a weekend in the cabin of the Dawson's and are enjoying spending time together, but also making important decisions in the next chapter, while Natalie is having a good time with her grandpa, where is of course gets everything she wants and they are up for another day full of fun.

The next chapter is going to be a second chapter of this storylines with the cabin and Natalie at Voight and I hope that you like it. Please do leave a review with what you thought and what you hope to see. Thank you!


	17. Chapter 17

''Zooooooo, zoooo, duckies!'' Natalie cheered as Voight lifted her into his high car and buckled her up. She was already smiling because they were going to the zoo while Hank wasn't exactly smiling because of the rain that was falling down. It wasn't raining very heart but Natalie was all ready with her rain boots with little pink duckies and the matching umbrella.

Parking th car Natalie was jumping up and down in her seat and she didn't sem to able to wait until they would go into the zoo.

Slowly after they walked in and Natalie held his hand as it was very crowded and Natalie almost ran ahead as she wanted to see the duckies but they walked calmly and looked at the first animals and walked inside to the monkeys.

''They look like you.'' Natalie giggled and she looked through the glass at the animals and Voight just laughed.

''You are a little monkey.'' Hank laughed. Natalie looked up and looked angry. But shortly after she started to laugh and hugged him again.

''Go to the duckies now!'' She said then as she took his hand and pulled him after her.

At the cabin, Erin and Jay walked outside, holding had wanted to take a walk for hours now but as it had been raining, they had spend most of the time sitting in front of the fire, which was very nice as well. Jay was having a hard time walking with her as his shoes got stuck in the mud, but he enjoyed walking with Erin. They walked for a few minutes, when Jay had to sit down for a little. Erin had taken a blanket and they sat down in the grass, looking over the lake.

''I am sorry, I know you you like walking and I can barely walk more than ten minutes.'' Jay said as he laid his arm around Erin and pulled her against her. He felt bad because he wanted to walk around the lake with her.

''It's okay, we can walk pieces and rest. We will get around the lake eventually.'' Erin said but Jay shook his head.

''I can't, Erin.''

''Then we walk back to the cabin.'' She said with a little smile and he looked sad, but she pulled him up and they walked back together.

''Why are you upset? It's okay, I know I can't hike a mile with you and tha tis okay. I love you and there is enough we can do.'' Erin said as she took his hand but Jay shook his hand free and walked away, angry.

In the zoo, Hank walked around with Natalie. Natalie kept talking about the things she did in day care when her parents were working and about the kids that were there and they walked around. Hank made a few pictures of her with the animals and as it was dry she handed him her umbrella.

''Oh now grandpa is pack-donkey?'' Hank said as he took the umbrella.

''Yes grandpa is donkey.'' Natalie giggled and Voight lifted her up, making donkey sound and put her on his neck as they walked past the last animals. She was too tired to walk now, until they had passed all the animals and they were at the gift shop now.

Natalie folded her umbrella and walked into the shop with her grandpa, holding his hand and pointing at the rack with plushies then; ''Look, they have another ducky.''

They walked to the rack and Voight held the grey duck.

''I think Ducky would like a friend, right?'' Voight said and Natalie jumped up and down as they walked to the counter. Ducky, whom was now with her parents would finally get a friend! Voigth paid for the Duck plushie and they walked back to the car, Natalie hugging her new friend and Voight smiled, as he had loved spending the day with her and she seemed so happy. All he wanted was seeing her happy.

''Are you happy your parents are coming home tomorrow?'' Hank asked as he drove home, where they were going to make dinner and watch a movie as he had promised Natalie.

''Yes. But I also love grandpa Hank.'' Natalie said as she was still hugging duckie 2.

At the cabin, Erin laid against Jay by the fire and he caressed through her hair. He kissed her on her forehead and she looked up at him with a sigh.

''Jay, why are you still worried about me being upset because you can't do the things we want to?'' She said as she turned so she looked him in the eyes.

''I...I just want to be the best fiance you can get and I can't do the things with you that you want to do and that upsets me.''

''Jay...'' She said as she did not know what to say as she never had the feeling that she was deprived because he wasn't able to do certain things. Sure, she would love to walk all around the lake with him but he couldn't and she knew that. What mattered most to her was that she was with him after al that had happened and all the other things didn't matter that much anymore.

''Erin...are you sure you want to marry me?'' He asked then and she shook her head.

''Jay, you know I love you and I don't want anything else than marrying you. It really upsets me what you are still so worried about everything and that hurts me. I want to marry you, but only if you stop worrying about my love for you.'' She said then and he nodded, tears in his eyes and kissed her.

''Why is ducky looking at us?'' He then said, looking at her suitcase standing in the corner and the plushie laying in it.

Erin started laughing; ''I think Natalie put Ducky there because she doesn't want a brother or sister.''

Jay smirked and kissed her; ''But can she decide about that?''

* * *

NOTE: Natalie and Hank had a really great time at the zoo and Ducky will have a friend now. While Ducky himself is very busy watching Jay and Erin. Jay and Erin didn't have a really good afternoon because of his worries but they talked about it now.

I hope that you liked this chapter, please do leave a review with what you thought about this chapter and what you want to see in the upcoming chapters. Thank you!


	18. Chapter 18

**Six weeks later**

* * *

After a long day in the office, Jay left. Jin left at the same time and held the door open so Jay could walk out with his wheelchair. He tried to walk to work today but after he had spent the day on the pier with Erin and Natalie yesterday, he was exhausted. His legs were exhausted but they had a really great day, although Erin had gotten sick in the ferris wheel. She was so sick she had stayed home today.

He wheeled to his car on the parking lot and opened the door. He sat in the car, holding the roof and folded the wheelchair and put the wheelchair next to passenger seat and started to car. It was such a good feeling being able how to drive again and he looked as some of the others drove away.

He was still nervous about driving so he liked driving away when all the others had driven away and then he started to drive as well. He had only gotten the car two weeks ago and was able to drive for a week,but he had his license, although he felt more okay with Erin driving because she was better at it.

At home he parked his car next to Erin's and got out again, went to their apartment and when he opened the door Natalie came running towards him and climbed on his lap.

''Daddy you have to play dolls with me. Mommy doesn't have time and I need Elsa.'' Natalie said as she held the doll out for him and Jay laughed.

''Give me a second sweety.'' He said as he put her from his lap. She ran to the wheelchair that was standing in the corner and brought it to him.

''Oh thank you, duckling.'' He said as she took it for him and he sat down in the simple wheelchair he used in the house and wheeled to the kitchen.

''Hey babe, I am home.'' He said as he saw Erin sitting by the dinner table, asleep with her head on her arms on the dinner table and he moved closer, kissing her on her head and caressing her over her back and she looked up. Giving him a small smile she kissed him but also stood up and ran to the sink.

''Ferris wheels make you so sick?'' He asked worried and she nodded. ''A migraine I think, got a headache as well.'' Erin said as she walked back to him and he handed her a towel.

''Daddy, Elsa!'' Natalie yelled from the living room and Erin gave him a smile; ''She is expecting you, Elsa.''

Jay smiled and went to Natalie and sat down on the carpet next to her and Natalie started story telling with the dolls and a little later Erin called for dinner.

Together with Natalie he walked back, holding her hand and he was glad when he reached the dinner table without falling, although his legs were burning now. They had dinner together and Natalie told about her day in daycare.

''What did you do mommy?'' Natalie giggled.

''I was in bed for most of the day.'' Erin said and Jay got up to clean the plates. Erin helped him.

''Lay down on the couch, sweety, you don't have to help you when you are sick. Take your rest.'' Jay said and Erin nodded gratefully and walked away. Jay finished the the dishes and joined them in the living room, Natalie playing with the dolls and Erin sitting on the couch, watching the news. He sat down next to Erin and looked both at the news and at Natalie enjoying playing with her dolls. He laid against Erin and she caressed his shoulder. Natalie was making different voices with every doll and they laughed as she making the story with the dolls.

Shortly after, they brought her to bed and while Jay was brushing her teeth with her Erin ran away to their own bedroom and he could hear her throwing up again.

''Come duckling, time for bed!'' He said then and she ran in front of her to her room and crawled in her bed, pulling the two duckies in her arms.

''Is mommy coming to say goodnight?'' She asked.

''I think mommy is too sick right now...but goodnight.'' Jay said as he kissed her goodnight and he went back to his and Erin's room to make sure she was okay and she walked out of the bedroom coughing, but with now.

Only now, she had made a discovery.

''Jay, I wasn't sick because of a migraine, I think we are expecting another baby.'' Erin said then and Jay smiled; ''Really?''

''There is no test so I am not sure...can you go to the shop and get a test?''

''Should I get a test?'' Jay said worried as he truly did not want to drive in the dark.

''Don't you want to know?'' Erin asked frowning.

''Yeah, okay!'' Jay said a little absent and he got his shoes back on, grabbing his cane and walking to the door.

''Be...careful...'' Erin said, thunderstruck by their recent discovery. Jay almost ran down the stairs, hoping to get int he shop in time. Getting another baby! It seemed like a dream.

At the parking lot he got in his car and drove the convenience shop close to them and he was barely inside before closing time. Looking around for the tests the clerk looked at him, impatient as he wanted to close and Jay found them, took two and walked to the counter to pay.

''Well, this is a good sign, isn't it?'' The clerk said and Jay nodded.

''You are already shining form happiness.'' The clerk said and Jay smiled as he walked outside with the bag and back to his car. Sitting down his hands were shaking as he was so nervous to drive back and about Erin doing the test. He was hoping so bad that they would have a second baby.

With shaking hands he started the car and his hands were sweating as he drove back. With a sigh from relief he parked the car and walked upstairs again. Erin was waiting for him and he handed her the tests and he checked on Natalie and she was peacefully asleep with the two duckies in her arms and he went back to their own bedroom, sat down on the bed, nervous.

It almost seemed to be a eternity before Erin left the bedroom and she ran his way, kissed him.

''We are going to be parents again!''

* * *

NOTE: They are expecting another baby! Natalie is going to be a big sister. I hope you liked this twist and the idea of them being parents again. how will Natalie and Voight react to their news and everybody else about this news? There are some troubles coming up now they are having another baby! Will they have to postpone their wedding as well?

Thank you so much for reading! Please do leave a review before you go. What did you think about this chapter and progress the story is making? :)


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